Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
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