Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
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oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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