Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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