But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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