I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
