Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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