im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Randomize
