my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
