And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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