I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
