I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
