This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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