we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize