...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
