Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
