So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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