i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
soo... how was my night?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
