I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
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Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
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I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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