That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
