I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
