Whod you bang
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
