Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
how can u be prego again
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
and you fell through a lawn chair
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
