I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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