You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
