did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
