I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
