the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
