Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I smell like Dick and happiness
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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