come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
