If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize