i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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