HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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