I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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