i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
