have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
