does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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