He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
