Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
