laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
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