we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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