normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
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