just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize