yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
