It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
