soooo we both peed the bed last night...
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
