is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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