gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
