then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
