nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
