I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
