They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
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