happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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