DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
