The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
This house was built for laser tag.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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