I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
