TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You ruined the universe
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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