Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
