we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
