I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
