i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
