So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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