You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
