how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize