dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
