When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together