I think I just saw someone hide a body.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I need to wash the frat house off of me
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.