remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas