Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
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We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
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Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did