Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
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Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
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Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.