I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
