She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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